Fasting during Ramadan, My personal experience

I want to start this personal blog with an outline of what I intend to do for you, the reader. I aim to inspire you to strive towards self-mastery, just as I do during Fasting during Ramadan, when I push my body and mind to their limits to connect with my spiritual self. I believe that the path to the divine source is achieved by becoming one with the creator, and to achieve this, we must become attuned to the essence of everything, which entails becoming nothing. Now, this may seem contradictory at first glance. However, upon deeper reflection, you will understand that to achieve awareness, you must let go of everything else because at the center of everything lies nothingness

Throughout the words you will read, I may seem to stray from the outlined path of self-mastery. Hence, I want to remind you of my objective.

It’s my seventh year in the UAE, and a lot has changed. From the many new people who have relocated to this destination, to the buildings that have been constructed, to the changes that were imposed on us, such as the rules and regulations, and many more changes.

What I love the most about living in the UAE, and to be more specific, Dubai, is that it’s a multicultural city, with many nationalities from all over the world. This provides a great opportunity to learn about various world cultures and practiced religions, however, It’s still primarily a Muslim country, with Islamic teachings at the forefront of encouragement. This, among many other reasons, is why I’ve been interested in Islam and its pillars.

It has been the reason why I read the Quran, or rather listened to the English audio version while cycling for eight hours, and revisited it since. It’s the reason why I fasted during the month of Ramadan, and the reason why I started learning more about the Islamic faith.

From what I can tell you about the religion, from my experience of working with a lot of Muslim clients, and observing how they conduct themselves, as well as studying the teachings brought forth by Prophet Muhammad, is that my understanding of the deeper meanings of these practices have brought as expanding.

Currently, it is Ramadan, and for those reading this who are not quite familiar with Ramadan, it’s a Holy month and one of the five pillars of Islam. The date will change each year and will always work backward on the calendar, this year it’s in March, which is better than being in August, especially in Dubai when temperatures around the late months of the year become almost unbearable, the days become longer, making fasting for 30 days during these months challenging, and in some cases, dangerous.

Ramadan Kareem means generous Ramadan. Hence, why a lot of Muslims associate this month with giving and generosity to others, which is true. However, it’s not the fundamental purpose behind the month of fasting, and I know this because I know that the Quran was a message from the divine with specific instructions, and when reading or listening to the Quran with a deep reflection, you start to understand the wisdom it carries.

As much as the month is about sacrifice, like many other spiritual practices, whether that be Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, or what have you, it’s often associated with an offering of some sort to the highest being of all. Some call this being God, some call it Allah, and some would call this being the Universe, and so on. In some ways, the month is about generosity with your sacrifice to the divine source.
After listening to the Quran and understanding Islamic teachings, I felt genuinely blessed. This pathway is also very aligned with my own belief system and understanding of how to become one, and that is self-mastery.

Fasting is not about giving up external things that provide pleasure, for the sake of a reminder of what you have, though that may be part of it. But the biggest part of it is about controlling your internal environment based on external stimuli.

We are human beings, and the human part of us is primitive, and the being part of us is sentient. If you refer to some original stories indicating the birth of awareness and consciousness in some religions, like the story of Adam and Eve, where God provided them with the choice by telling them not to eat from the tree of knowledge. Back then, whenever that was, before we were able to make a conscious choice and live with consequences, we were subconscious, we were primitive, we were responsive to our environmental inputs only.

Now, this thought is also why we believe we are superior to most other living creatures, and why we are told, whether that be religious teachings or true self-questioning, that we are made in the image of the creator, and we are more conscious awareness than any other living form on this planet, or at least that’s what we believe.

There was a time, as mentioned when we were subconscious only, and as time has progressed, we have become more consciously aware, and the more consciously aware we become, the more we become one with the creator. And how we do that is by controlling primitive nature and being.

Being more present, being more mindful, being calmer, being more complete, being less attached, being less subconsciously responsive, and just being.

The Quran taught me that if we can restrict ourselves from many primitive desires that lie deep in our subconscious mind, the ones we control without even any awareness about them, we can become more conscious. The prominent primitive desires I’m talking about are hunger, aggression, pleasure, lust, and many other triggers that take us from a state of complete awareness to a state of chaos.

Through the restriction of these desires, we have an opportunity to control the urges, even when faced with temptation, so in time, they will not create any eruption of emotion. They don’t become a temptation at all. We don’t even know they are there, allowing us to receive the best gift of all, which is love, with the power of the best tool of all, and that is discipline.

The position I hold on such a conceived understanding of what I believe is the true message behind the month of Ramadan, and if collectively, everyone on this planet spent the entire month resisting temptations, controlling their urges, and becoming at peace, they would become closer to the most gracious, merciful being of all. However, this is very challenging, and even if you were successful throughout the 30 days, for this to have such an impact on the remaining months of the year when you are back in your usual routine in the world, which is orchestrated to tempt you and encourage you to act based on your primitive desires, it would be almost impossible to maintain this Zen state throughout. Hence, why practicing this every year, along with daily practices and other practices throughout the year, would lead to better results.

What I felt personally when I fasted for Ramadan in 2020 was how generous my experience seemed. I became more aware of the beauty around me and aware of some of the things I took for granted or allowed to distract me from being present. I felt a tremendous amount of gratitude for the subtle things, like the sunset, like the sunrise, like things that I might not even be aware of if I weren’t aiming to control myself in every sense. It was a gift, and it felt as if it was a gift from above for us to control ourselves, to master ourselves.

This wasn’t the main reason, in fact, it wasn’t the reason at all why I decided to fast for the month of Ramadan. There were many reasons, one of the main reasons was the fact that I had a lot of Muslim clients. I knew that I needed to provide them with the right guidelines to follow based on when to eat, how to train, what to eat, etc. I needed more experience, and experience is one of those attributes you can only acquire through experience.

Another reason I wanted to experiment and understand how I would personally feel with the restrictions in place whether I could endure the difficulties that I know many people expressed during this month, and what new adaptations within me would stem from those difficult challenges.

Another reason was that it was a lockdown, and I think we all were looking for something else to focus on since we were locked in our homes and for most of us, work was suppressed. And not having the option to leave home led to suppression, anxiety, and often for more people than not, depression. I felt less susceptible to these types of states by having something to focus on which would lead to so much more knowledge. It was a great way to put my energy into something positive instead of focusing on the things I simply couldn’t change.

What needs to be understood is that I come from a very disciplined life, and the path I’ve chosen, which in some sense was chosen for me, is a path that only leads to more self-control. I had a lot of behavioral problems as a child. I was very aggressive, and I had to learn how to control this nature. I took part in sports and started my bodybuilding journey as a junior, which spanned over an 11-year competitive bodybuilding career, competing locally, nationally, and internationally.

While seeking new opportunities to become better, since following restricted diets, loading protocols, training disciplines, etc., no longer became a challenge, I found myself seeking everything I could which I knew at the time would help me. In fact, I’ve worked with thousands of people, helping them to become the best versions of themselves through diet protocols, workout routines, as well as cardio methodologies, and restrictions, but, I would not ask them to do things I did, and that is not because they don’t have benefits, because they do, but because these levels of devotion and discipline are to be chosen. Otherwise, the benefits they can lead to would be neglected. It’s not about shutting your emotions off and becoming a robot, it’s about controlling them and using them when you need to advance any area that needs advancement. As the saying goes, it’s better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.

The reason why I positioned the above is to aim to give credit, to those that fast, that don’t have the same will and wiring, those that struggle tremendously.

What I will say before I proceed to express my experience is that I did gain an enormous amount of respect from my clients and other Muslims because I was fasting, just to understand the religion more, but I also gained a huge amount of respect for those who fast but aren’t as disciplined as me because they haven’t had the practice I have.

The first week of fasting literally just felt like a routine change. Training in the evening, having my meals later than usual and staying up later to eat my last meal. The commitment I internally vowed to make was for one week. However, since the week didn’t present any challenges at all, I considered another week. The second week allowed me to play around with my food choices, and amounts, as well as training, both in a fasted state before Iftar and then training after one meal so I could weigh up the differences and make better decisions moving forward. But again, I did not feel challenged by the restriction or any other primitive desires that I was continuing to restrain myself from. Granted, it was lockdown, and I did have formal control of what was inside and around me, so I’m sure it would be easier than it would be now. However, the point of a commitment is that regardless of what comes your way, you would do your very best to commit to what you committed to, as life is never certain, hence why a lot of people in the world suffer from anxiety as they know they cannot control the outcome, which eats at them like a turmoil.

The last two days of starting my meals close to 7 PM and then finishing them at 3 AM, was starting to irritate me, I missed my routine. Getting up in the morning, have breakfast, work out, have my lunch, and go to bed early enough to get up early.

So as the last two days ended, I was looking forward to waking up and having a meal when the sun was up also. As I mentioned, Ramadan was a fantastic opportunity to allow me to understand more about myself and equip me with the tools to control the outcome. That said, as mentioned above, we all know the outcome is not up to us. This was felt the day fasting ended, and it came with another lesson, which is always a blessing.

I woke up, nice and early, and made my porridge oats, banana, frozen berries, peanut butter, whey protein or let’s not forget some low-fat yogurt. This was the meal I missed the most since I was breaking my fast with some dates and coconut water, and then a solid meal like chicken, rice, and vegetables. As much as I’ve had this breakfast for the last 15+ years, it’s still my favorite meal of the day, hence why I made it in advance to sit at the dining table while I took our French bulldog for a walk around the community.

As mentioned, my routine was upside down, going to bed later and getting up slightly later, and the last day was no exception. I got up at around 9:30-10 AM to take the dog for a walk. What I didn’t consider since I had been doing all my walks before sunset was how much the temperature changed and how punishing the sun became. But I soon realized this the hard way.

I was walking the dog, and he started panting very heavily to the point where I had to find some water, so I went into someone’s garden and gave him a drink. I then proceeded to make my way back home but he was struggling, he wanted to stop and get out of the sunlight into the shade, so I picked him up, and I jogged with him in my arms.

We got through the door, and he collapsed. All four legs spread, and he was panting profusely to the point that we were very concerned. He wouldn’t drink any water. Every time he tried to stand up, he would fall back down. I knew something was seriously wrong. I knew that he was overheating. I stripped off as fast as I could, instructed my wife to bring the water cooler from outside, picked up the dog, took him into the shower, put the shower on cold, and stood under it with him in my arms aiming to cool him down. When I came out, there was no change in his behavior. He was struggling to stand and kept rolling over, gargling. I knew that he was about to die.

I put the water cooler on blast. I cleared his airways from all the froth that was gathering, and I continued to fan him down as hard as I could with the towel repeatedly. I was naked, with no consideration of how I looked or how I felt; I was focused on keeping him alive.

Every few minutes, he would roll over to the side and make a gargling sound. Then I would have to go down, put my fingers into his mouth, clear the airways, pump on the chest, and keep him with us by saying, “Stay with us, boy,” loudly.

I instructed my wife to call the vet and to see if they could send someone out as an emergency. She was on the phone, and the vet said they would take some time, so I asked her to grab the car, drive it close to where we lived, and leave the engine running for a few minutes with the AC blasting.

We went straight to the vet. I put the dog on the floor. By this time, he had stopped panting, but he had pooped himself.

The vet told us that he had had heatstroke and that I did everything I should have, but they needed to do some medical blood tests to see the extent of damage to his kidneys and vital organs. We were encouraged to leave him at the vet, preparing for him not making it through the hour.

We got home and prayed for the best to God Almighty. By that time, my beloved oatmeal just looked stale and unappetizing.

In some miraculous way, we were able to pick up our dog the next day, and I was told that we saved his life, which I can only attribute to my intuition and the guidance I received to act instantly in the moment when I needed to the most. This was another clarification of how controlling self, and being at peace, practicing rituals that are focused on discipline, can have on your life and the lives around you. When you focus your attention on your awareness and aim to expand your consciousness to become closer to consciousness itself, the divine essence in everything at every time for eternity, that God that we seek in desperation. That God that we know is listening always and has ultimate control.

That is what these teachings can do when you put yourself first everything else is background noise, and by doing such, you become connected intuitively, capable of receiving knowledge that already exists within us. It comes from so high; the only way we can access that truth is by becoming nothing. And it’s through this stillness that we can act.

One of the most famous quotes, by Jesus Christ, another incredible leader who came with so many divine messages, is one of the quotes I love the most. In fact, it was a quote that was passed through, as well as to me by the source.

Jesus said, and I quote, “The only way to the Father is through me.”

What he meant by that, although it’s both misinterpreted and misunderstood, is certainly not that the only way to get into heaven is to believe in him, which some practicing Christians seem to convey. But what he meant because, believe it or not, he told me, was the only way to the Father is through me.

But when he told me, I understood exactly what he meant, and what he meant was that if you were able to find peace amongst the chaos and focus your attention on the highest being, so you can stay content, and forgiven, you see everything as an act of good. And you will become one with the creator. And the way he conducted himself through trial and tribulation, through adversity, and suffering was with peace in mind.

So, what’s the point of fasting all day long and then feasting on everything you’ve restricted yourself from in the hours? The point is self-control, the point is stillness, the point is not reacting to any temptation, which would usually trigger emotion.

As mentioned, for some, fasting for this length of time only may be more than enough to start setting the foundation for a more disciplined life. However, if you understand the meaning, you will be inspired to continue a life of discipline, as we know that it is the ultimate way to eternal existence. The reason is that questing to be the best that you can, continually encourages you to look deeper within yourself and to seek a better version of yourself, which will require more and more discipline until finally, you are a vessel that is more being than physical, and that is exactly when you are ready to pass over to the overside.

For what is worth, I’m not religious, and as much as religion has its place for many people, as it is a path to a more disciplined life, and seeking higher intelligence and conscious expansion to become higher in the dimensions after this experience, I also believe that religion is not for some people and some people find their way to bring new ideas and new thoughts, which also come from a divine source.

This does not mean that I don’t believe the teachings don’t have merit, nor does it mean that I believe that those who brought the messages are wrong, I mean the opposite, we’re all messengers, and I believe that we all have a line of communication to source, and I believe that too many people are looking in the wrong place. They look out there, externally, when the code is cracked by looking within and seeking within themselves.

I hope you enjoyed this blog. I know it’s certainly different from any of the other blogs you may have read; however, it’s a genuine, authentic expression of my experience with Ramadan, not just from the month I was fasting, but what I feel it’s about and the benefits of this discipline.

I am interested to know what you think about this blog and your own experiences with your faith and the principles you practice.

I want you to know we’re not just writing random stuff. We write relevant, relatable topics that we know are aligned with our core values and our mission, and that is to help as many people as we can transform the way they look, feel, and live.

 

Thanks for reading.

Christian Williams